I took my first drink at the age of 12, and smoked cigarettes at the time too. It was 7 years after I had been sexually molested, and I was dealing with the trauma in all the wrong ways. My father wasn’t around due to his own mental illness and substance use problems. My mother […]
Hello Lovelies! I am proud to announce today that it is my 15th Wedding Anniversary! Today I’m going to be talking to you about marriage. I’ve been to the combat zone, I’ve conquered pain med addiction, recreational drug use, alcoholism, codependence, raising girls, PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Depression, and the list goes on and on. […]
It is not implied that there needs to be a belief system in a 12-step program, it is required. AA, NA, and CR require a higher power in their 12-step programs. Spirituality is a significant part of the 12 step program. Now, to simply attend such groups, one does not require a belief system. The support […]
It’s that feeling that I just can’t shake off. You know, one that just sits on your chest, heavy as can be. Gnawing at you. Taunting you. It wears me out. I’m tired. So tired. Tired of thinking. Tired of planning. Tired of strategizing. Tired of wanting. Tired of striving. I need to clear my […]
Can I tell y’all how excited I am for this weekend? I finally get to go back out to my land with my family and get lost in nature! Nature is by far, the best thing for my recovery and sobriety. All the programs, doctors, counselors, etc. cannot do for me what nature does. I […]
Ahhh. The allure of glam travel on Instagram is one of my favorite indulgences. Scenic beaches and glamorous supermodels (or simply feet) in exotic destinations have been enormously successful on Instagram. I dream of the day when I can post such scenery. My far away dreamy thoughts are interrupted by the ear piercing screeching of two restless girls in the backseat. Back to reality.
We have taken our kids all across the US on extensive road trips. You gotta be either one of 2 things to accomplish this 1) Impulsive Adventure Seeking Gypsies, or 2) Certifiably Crazy. I do believe we are both of these things.
What exactly is perseverance? Perseverance is steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success (Google).There’s always a message in the wait. Most people though, don’t receive it. We often get so caught up in the wait that we miss the message. Today, I share with you the message I received after persevering through a recent hunt.
So, yesterday I shot my first deer. If you’re a vegan, PETA member, or otherwise going to judge me please stop here, I’d really rather not offend anyone. Otherwise, continue for the message. It’s taken me a year of constant focus to accomplish such a thing. Whitetail hunting is not nearly as easy as it looks.
I was trembling, shaking at the thought of revealing myself as an addict. I had never even admitted this to myself, let alone reveal it to strangers. My heart was racing, my thoughts were panicked, and my mind was somewhere far away. Before I knew it, it was my time to speak.
I imagined that I would confess my adulterous, inappropriate, and sinful behavior. I imagined being met with judgment. I imagined the world would come to a screeching halt, and that everyone on it would fly off simultaneously at the shock and awe of my addictive behavior. I imagined the earth would open up and swallow me whole, sending me to the fiery inferno I thought I deserved.
The earth didn’t swallow me whole.
What happened next sent Holy Spirit goosebumps all down my body.
What would happen if you chose to be vulnerable today?
Read my blog to determine why you’re avoiding vulnerability (authenticity) and what to do about it.
My father wound ran so deep in my heart and soul it was part of my identity for decades. It was a wound that couldn’t be cured by running away. It couldn’t be cured by sleeping around for men’s attention. It couldn’t be cured by drugs or alcohol. It couldn’t be cured through co-dependence. It couldn’t be cured through isolation and depression. It couldn’t be cured by obsessive striving for success. It couldn’t be cured by becoming a control freak. It couldn’t be cured through anger and anxiety. It couldn’t even be cured through therapy and medication (though they were helpful). No. What it took was a relationship with my heavenly father to cure the broken relationship I never had with my earthly father.
I choose to believe that every human on this planet has a purpose, and that we are all connected to our purpose by the spirit, through the gifts we are given. What if you quit that job you hate, to do something you love? What if we, as a human race each did what we are called to do? The world would certainly be a better place.
The reason I am so focused on purpose is because I’m in my final three classes for my MA degree, and should be a LCDC (licensed chemical dependency counselor) by the end of this year. It’s been a long journey in the making. It’s taken me my whole life to get here. I feel as if I am about to reach that summit in my purpose, but first I must reflect on the switchbacks that got me here. Would you believe I was once a pregnant teen that nearly dropped out of school?