I took my first drink at the age of 12, and smoked cigarettes at the time too. It was 7 years after I had been sexually molested, and I was dealing with the trauma in all the wrong ways. My father wasn’t around due to his own mental illness and substance use problems. My mother […]
What exactly is perseverance? Perseverance is steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success (Google).There’s always a message in the wait. Most people though, don’t receive it. We often get so caught up in the wait that we miss the message. Today, I share with you the message I received after persevering through a recent hunt.
So, yesterday I shot my first deer. If you’re a vegan, PETA member, or otherwise going to judge me please stop here, I’d really rather not offend anyone. Otherwise, continue for the message. It’s taken me a year of constant focus to accomplish such a thing. Whitetail hunting is not nearly as easy as it looks.
My father wound ran so deep in my heart and soul it was part of my identity for decades. It was a wound that couldn’t be cured by running away. It couldn’t be cured by sleeping around for men’s attention. It couldn’t be cured by drugs or alcohol. It couldn’t be cured through co-dependence. It couldn’t be cured through isolation and depression. It couldn’t be cured by obsessive striving for success. It couldn’t be cured by becoming a control freak. It couldn’t be cured through anger and anxiety. It couldn’t even be cured through therapy and medication (though they were helpful). No. What it took was a relationship with my heavenly father to cure the broken relationship I never had with my earthly father.
Everything was great. Life is great. I’m living the dream. I’m sober, and I have an amazing job, and I’m pursuing my MA in Addictions Counseling. My marriage is awesome, and my kids blow my mind every single day with their growth and perspectives on life. Yet, here I was, sitting in the driveway of my gorgeous two story suburban dream home, in a vehicle worth more than my annual income, crying my eyes out to a song about Peter Pan.