I’m a mess. Not like the old mess…(the mess with the drinking issues and constant meltdowns is gone). Praise the lord.
I’m a new mess. The old mess is gone, the new mess is here. I can proudly say that I haven’t relapsed into alcohol for the last 4 years, and haven’t relapsed into my old drugs of choice for 17 years. Praise that lord again.
Mental health is messy.
What I have relapsed in and out of is my depression and anxiety cycles. Damn mental health…comes in and ruins things pretty often. Fortunately, I’m used to cycling now and while I’m pretty good at falling flat on my face from time to time, I’m even better at getting my ass back up. I tend to get back up pretty quickly these days.
I get back up quickly and brush that shit off. What I do differently now, is I don’t allow my ego to keep me stuck. I spent many years a victim of my own ego, and I’m done with that crap now. Humility is a learned wisdom, I tell ya.
Anyway – Here’s how I manage to stay an organized mess these days.
1) Some people might look at me and think “Wow. She’s really got her shit together.” Nope. Not at all. I’ve just learned to prioritize my messes.
2) They think I got my shit together because I serve in the Army, work as a Mental Health Provider, help my husband run his business, and on top of that I run this here blog and a little recovery account on Instagram. I do all this while running a household and most importantly, raising two little ladies. Holy shit. I’m adulting. All this requires a paper planner. You know, the good old-fashioned one you write in. That’s the secret to my schedule messes…a paper planner.
3) In prioritizing messes I’ve learned to prioritize things around the house. That’s probably where my life is most messy. After bitching for years about the dishes, the laundry, the floors, the unmade beds, the clutter, and all the other fun crap that happens in a home, my miracle came. I simply don’t care about the small things!
Is the laundry clean, in a basket, and in the right room? Cool. It’s done as far as I’m concerned. The dishes? Well, my kids are perfectly capable of handling those. The clutter? If I get too worked up, I throw that crap out by the bagfull. Groceries? Clicklist that shit and have other people shop for you. Better yet, have it delivered to your home.
Curbside grocery pickup/Grocery Delivery is the most amazing invention since the f*cking iPhone. Is my house a mess? Sure. But my life isn’t so I really, honestly, wholeheartedly don’t care about a messy house!
What it boils down to, is that living sober doesn’t necessarily you’ll be mess free. We’re all imperfect humans that have defects and limitations. The key to messy sober life is acceptance.
My name is Rachel, and I’m a clean mess. And I’m totally cool with that.
-Stay Sober My Friends