It’s my birthday y’all. So far I’ve survived 13,149 days on this earth, the last 1,374 of them being alcohol free, and the last 6,357 days being free from club drugs and opiate addiction. Rock the fork on, right?
Honestly, I woke up feeling a lot better turning 30 than I do turning 36. At 30, I had already been married for 10 years and had babies for 7 years. I had already been to war with the Army, and I had a college degree (an Associates, better than nothing). I felt my age finally matched my life experience.
Turning 36 though, puts me in my upper thirties. Now I gotta say that shit when someone asks me, which makes me feel old. Although, I must admit, I get a lot of folks telling me I look younger, which is totally cool of them. The last 6 years have flown by! Where the fork does all the time go? Upper thirties….hmmm.
So far today, I’ve reported to work for a mandatory meeting at 7:30am, where I was greeted by my fabulous co workers that recognized me for my hard work and dedication. I was given fruit, cookie cake, cup cakes, and chocolate. These things don’t exactly fit my 21DayFix Meal Plan. It’s cool though, I indulged and came home and worked it off with a good workout. In the meantime I got a sweet text from my teen with all kinds of kissy face emoji’s, which makes me feel all kinds of gushy inside. I also got a voicemail from the hubs and little one to say Happy Birthday. I must be doing something right there.
After a good workout comes devotional time, and planning time. Who am I kidding, I’ve been planning my day since 5:45am this morning when I hit the snooze button. Anyway, upon reflection I realized that I’ve come a long way in life. I’ve accomplished some big things, and not only endured, but conquered some mountain sized piles of shit that life threw my way. Holy moly y’all , I’m adulting, and it actually feels really good.
My body has literally transformed into an old ladies body this year, with menopause being chemically induced for the last 6 months. What have I learned through the last year?
I’ve learned that women are forking beasts that endure the fires of hell (aka hot flashes) and are worthy of wearing a forking crown every damn day. I’ve learned that smile lines (both on the mouth and around the eyes) are worth showing, not for filling in. I’ve learned that forehead wrinkles are evidence that I’ve spent time in wonder and awe of my creator. Nope, not worth filling either. I’ve learned that aging, is a beautiful process, if you let it be.
I’ve learned to tell the media and society to piss off when it comes to defining what I should look like at this age. I’ve learned that nutrition is my responsibility and will fuel my brain through this process called life. I’ve learned that skinny is completely over rated and that strong is not only beautiful, but it feels forking fantastic.
I’ve learned that mental health should be my number one priority, even if that means taking meds the rest of my life. So be it. I’ve learned that self-care is as vital as the oxygen I breathe. I’ve learned without it, I cannot be the mother, wife, friend, sister, mental health provider, recovery counselor, (you fill in the blank). Plus, I wouldn’t be sober if I didn’t practice self-care. That’s pretty forking important to me.
So, without further ado, I fare thee well and hope you learned something about where you’re at in life through this birthday blog. In the meantime, I’ll be doing a birthday mani/pedi for self-care today, because adulting is hard. My evening will be spent shuttling my teen to and from volleyball practice with my little one in tow. Then, I’ll come home to something fabulous my hubby cooked and finish the day with some good ole’ Netflix and Chill. I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Stay sober my friends!